Site news: I uploaded the Cold Case “Boy Crazy” Episode in streaming form. It’s the one about the murder of a young girl that looked and acted like a boy(read this post for more information). It isn’t graphic but it’s very heart-breaking especially the last ten minutes of the episode. A lot of people realized that there was nothing wrong with her but it was already too late. *sniff*
It’s HD quality so it’s better if you watch it on large screen, double click. Also looks better on firefox but is ok on internet explorer. Watch video here.

On to the topic….

It’s a very short post and you might’ve been comforted with this question before in school.

If you run a school newspaper and this group of mainly white males wanted to post an advertisement that they wanted a discussing on the following topics.

The history books should be rewritten because the holocaust never happened.
Why minorities and women get special treatment.
Why doesn’t science talk about the seriously important things, like being gay is actually a mental disease.

Would you run that ad? Think about the first ammendment and freedom of speech.

Sunday’s detective/homicide show Cold Case Episode ‘Boy Crazy’ was a real tear-jerker. This episode was about a girl named Samantha (Sam) from 1963 who liked to dress and act like a boy. They open up the case because they believed that Sam was killed because of the way she behaved and dressed in such a conservative time, instead of committing suicide as the autopsy report suggested .

And it was perfect in so many levels.

1. I’m a big fan of the early 1960s (though obviously and fortunately I never lived during that time)
2. They had two Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons songs in this episode!
3. It reminded me of my own Boy Crazy story (yeah I never was a tomboy but when I looked at scenes of Sam and her only friend Dom it reminded me of those feelings that I had)

In this video clip the detectives interview the older Janie (the former school bitch), it cuts to a flashback. She spies on Dom and Sam hanging out by the lake. They make a promise that ‘to be free or die trying’.
Background Music: Smokey Robinson- You Really Got A Hold On Me
Dom: So do you like chicks?
Sam:…..?
Dom: I mean, like I do?
Sam:*Laughs* No.
Dom: Then what do you like?
Sam: I like, I like you.

She kisses Dom and Dom,shocked and confused pushes her off.

Janie spreads what she saw to the entire school and Dom stops talking to Sam. There was a heart-breaking scene when the boys pin Sam down and tries to make her wear lipstick and Dom isn’t even looking at her.

I was going to post the last 6 minutes of the episode so you would know who Sam’s killer was but that would spoil everything. So you can download the episode yourself if you want over at freetvdown. I wanted to post it though because it was one of the more powerful scenes and during those last 6 minutes I was bawling my eyes out. For some reason I felt a lot of guilt for myself. Also the scene with Sam’s father looking at her picture was incredibly sad.

I wish Sam wasn’t killed. Things could’ve worked out with Dom and Sam. Sam was still a girl even though she looked like a boy but it’s Cold Case, not Happy Warm Pancakes Case.

We all agreed from my anxiety attack post that I should learn how to control my emotions, especially anger by learning how to express it more. I admire the guy in the following video, he just doesn’t hold back and must really hate his corporate job.

Britney Spears must’ve cut off his genitals for him to be this angry at her. He was so mad he didn’t even realize the ‘don’t taze me dude’ had nothing to do with her.

Yesterday instead of studying I watched that movie Babe: Pig in The City it’s the second movie about Babe the pig. I love pigs. To eat and to look at.

But too many people found it ‘disturbing’ like the scene when the dog was being hanged over water and the fish bowl breaking. I can understand if you don’t like the movie but to call it ‘mindless violence’ is a little much. Babe saved both the dog and the fish eventually and those people who found it ‘disturbing’ really didn’t get the message of those scenes. You can’t have a hero if nothing bad happens. They just saw violence violence violence The End.

Anyway the last time I saw the movie I must’ve been around 7. When I watched it yesterday I liked it more than I liked it when I was younger. There was so much to admire in the movie. I kept saying ‘ooohhh’ ‘aaaahhh’ ‘look at that!’. I know sometimes babe and mostly the rats were robotic but there was some scuttling scenes that were real and I’m wondering how the animal trainers were able to do that (food I guess). And that chasing scene with the dog and Babe, that dog looked like he was really going to kill babe if he got a chance.

Another thing I really like about the movie was the city. It’s a fictional city called Metropolis and if you looked closely it’s a mixed of different cities around the world and different time eras. There is a scene when the cars look like the are from the 1940s but the people at another scene look modern (or at least 1990s modern) and there was that party from what look like from the 1800s.

If you look closely you would see the Hollywood sign (Los Angeles), Golden Gate Bridge (San Francisco),  Eiffel Tower (Paris), Sydney Opera House (Australia), Statue of Liberty (New York) and various sky scrappers from many cities all over the world.

This is outside the hotel that Babe is staying and as you can see it looks very European. I’m guessing the inspiration for this was Venice, Italy.

Gaaahh! I wish I had a night scene picture it looks so much better at night. Just like what Ratatouille did to make me want to visit France this movie did wanting me to visit Metropolis. I want to watch the movie again just for the sake of looking at the artwork.

I and I guess everyone else already knows that it’s bad to hold your emotions. But who knew I would be a physical example.

I learned to hold my emotions since a very young age when I didn’t get my way. I use to get pissed yell and scream and have tantrums but adults would just ignore me and leave me on the floor. I guess I learned that nothing would happen if I would yell out so I just kept things to myself.

I didn’t know how to react when my classmates would tease me back in high school so usually I would say nothing. And there was my bestfriend who I just let get away with treating me like shit for four years.

There was an incident a week ago. I was on the computer and my brother was bugging me. I was super pissed and stressed about the upcoming exam that I started huffing and puffing (hyperventilating according to the doctor ) when I put my head up my chest suddenly felt heavy and tight. I started to panic and yelled for my mom. I was crying because I didn’t know what was happening Then I felt really light headed and my body felt really stiff. I couldn’t move my fingers.

My uncle started messaging my back and head. My mom got me some water. After about five minutes I started breathing again but my arms and jaw were still quite stiff. When my dad came home that night he set up a doctors appointment.

Today was my doctors appointment. He said it was sever stress agitation due to emotions or something like that (he used those words). He even joked that I must of been really mad and I shouldn’t be mad because it’s my birthday tomorrow. What happen to me according to the doctor brought back past emotions of frustration and anger. ‘Bottled-up emotions isn’t good for the body’ is what he said. And suggested that I try to talk or something if I feel that way again.

They took a blood sample. Took like ten minutes because I kept squirming around (hate needles) and screaming. Also a urine sample. I notice my piss is like a million times darker that everyone else’s piss…I wonder why. I don’t know the results of it yet though.

Have a great weekend everybody!